Newsnight joke

I like it…

In Jerusalem, a Reuters journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.
“I’m Rebecca Smith from Reuters. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?”
“For about 60 years.”
“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”
“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship.”
“How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”
“Like I’m talking to a fucking wall.”

Newsnight joke

A dyslexic skier was standing at the top of the giant slalom trying to work out if he should zig zag round the poles or zag zig.

He turns to the man next to him and says, “I wonder if you can help me? I’m not sure if I should zig zag or zag zig round the poles on the way down.”

“Don’t ask me”, the man said, “I’m a tobogganist.”

“In that case” said the skier, “I’ll have two packets of Benson & Hedges and a box of matches.”