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Newsnight joke

A mother Superior and a novice nun were out for a drive one morning. The novice was behind the wheel and everything was fine until suddenly the Devil jumped out from behind a tree and on to the hood of the car. The novice slammed on the brakes and wailed, “Mother Superior what should I do?” “Show him your cross,” the Mother Superior replied calmly. Heeding her words, the novice quickly rolled down the window, leaned out and yelled, “Get off the fucking car, you ugly bastard!”

Newsnight joke

A wife walks in the kitchen and sees her husband holding a fly swatter.

She asks him, “Why are you holding the fly swatter?”

The husband says, “I’m killin’ flys.”

She asks, “Well, have you killed any yet?”

He says, “Yep, three males and two females.”

The wife, puzzled, says, “How can you tell what sex they are?”

The husband replies “Well, three were on a beer can, and two were on the phone.”


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