In my opinion, my friend Timothy Wright from Warren, who is also a huge Eminem fan, is gifted for poetry. I like the texts he has written and I would like to share them with you.
A Person can only take so much before they go insane,right? I can feel myself falling over the edge into total craziness. My whole life I have been angry and I can feel my anger getting ready to end in one huge violent explosion. It’s frightening and very liberating at the same time. In a way I cant wait for all the secrets to become front page news so I can unburden myself but I also have the sense to realize that as free as I may feel at the time Ill never survive the consequences. My heart beats faster everytime I think of my options. One, go on in secrecy until I go insane, Two,end my life and never have time to contemplate the consequences,Three,go away from all of this and try to begin again in total honesty,or Four,explode now and cause myself more pain and sorrow than my heart can bear,Obviously number three is the most appealing but Im a coward that can’t even think about the pain it would cause I have to do something But What? My Heart can’t take anymore and the isolation I feel is maddening. I’ve lost grip of myself. My own name means nothing to me. I don’t know or even remember myself. Everything is so distantand way too close. My body has seperated from my soul. I can somehow hear me crying out inside of myself. I ran away from myself slowly inside and now that I’ve turned around to look back the me that used to be is gone. Somehow I need to reinvent him. I can’t find that place where hope used to flood from. As I read back over these words panic quickens my pulse and I feel a sense of everything closing in on me, My soul can’t breathe. My sense of Reality is falling apart. I always feel like asking someone how the hell I got here. Sometimes I wonder if other people feel this way but I know they don’t because everyone views their life differently and I guess it would’nt matter if they did because there’s no togetherness in isolation. Why didnt I notice the strands in my happiness rope coming undone? It seemed to happen so slowly that I didnt see it and now that I look back It seems to have happened all at once. The old saying of there’s nowhere left to go but up seems to come to mind but I have no rope,stairs,or ladder to go up. Im stuck at the bottom crying for help so quietly that nobody can hear me. I’ve asked for help from whatever unseen,all knowing power that I believe exists but I am so hidden within myself that either I can’t be heard or the zombie that I am now has overshadowed my true self. My heart is so open but the only thing I have inside me to feed it is poison. Im dying. Nobody see’s,knows,or cares but Im dying. If I can’t find a way to find myself again the hurt taker that is mostly me will take too much and swallow my small self whole. Death will come to the person I’ve become or the small part that is me Soon.
Alone in the dark:
Alone in the dark, He doesnt know where to begin to try to contain the terrible tragedy within
The walls stare hard, only showing more pain
His soul cold & black will forever be stained A vast array of feelings he can’t reveal and in his mind the truth will always be sealed
Another day passes,the same as the last The eternal quest to forget all his past His body so frail,and his mind is caving in hoping and praying that this is the end.
At times he has thought that he was so close finally escaping the world he fears most that time never comes,his tears all in vain.
Alone in the dark,he bears all the blame Time passes by Year after Year Increasing his hate,never fading his fear his will has been broken,His mind torn and tattered Scraping to remember when anything mattered Convicted for hate,and death for his violence No choice was left he had to be silenced
Strapped to his chair,only moments to go the clocks face mocking,it’s hands move too slow The preacher had spoken “absolve all your sin release all your hate and give your heart to HIM”
“With his undying love, I’ve had my fill”
“Your God may forgive me,but I never will”
Can you feel the pain inside?
Can you hear the screams and cries?
Can you see my heart,so dark and so cold?
Can you show me the way to save my soul?
Waiting for life to pass me by,
Watching as loved ones suffer and Die
Screaming aloud with no one to hear
Alone and unwanted hiding the tears
my heart & Soul ripped from my chest
Her memory still haunting,the days move so fast
300 years since Ive been in her eyes
Orphaned By God he refuses my cries
The World ever changing but I stay the same
Forsaken by love hindered by shame
Once I knew Joy, But now only Pain
My Undying love,now all in vain
Selling my soul so she could be free
Denied at the gate,she’s martyred for me
Our marriage our bond in life and in death
While watching her die I felt my last breath
Awoken in horror the deal had been made
We both died together yet I had been saved
No breath in my lungs my skin cold and pale
My eyes are transparent my heartbeat so stale
My wish had been granted,but not how I thought
Damnation just starting my soul had been bought
Repentant and crying no cure for my plight
Another Demon has spawned a child of night
Stalking my victims, on their souls I shall feed
Remorseless and vengeful,never filling my need.
Yearning for Death to return to my love
Left to my Hell,SALVATION UN HEARD OF
Unappeasable hatred,from centuries past
Rage and Disgust,How can this last?
Eons have gone,with years wondering why?
With all pain and sorrow,even death has to die.
So now I lay waiting,in my tomb of despair
No will to go on,no soul left to care.
I hope she cant see me,for that I can’t bare
To see all my hatred and the evil I share
To lose her affection for the choice that I made
I’d rather live in my coffin than ever be saved
Without her Im lost and can never be free
She could never expect what I turned out to be
I miss the all warmth and I miss the Blue skies
I cant take all the sorrow Ill end it outside
As Dawn draws closer and dark turns to light
I remember her love and make evrything right